Know Thyself

Know Thy Body, Know Thyself
-by Morgan Dragonheart
Listen children, as I tell you a tale of things horrific and ecstatic; blissful and morose; pretentious and sublime. The existence of a vampire.
Many of us are born human, but not all. Most of us are slain by the bite of our sire, but not every one. A good friend of mine first found death in an explosion, never touched by the fangs of an elder. How was she turned, you ask? Wouldn't you like to know, and wouldn't I like to know how much you'd pay to know. Let me admit, free of charge, that it involved an absent-minded professor, a vial, and the Tower of London. Hers was an unusual turning, but the end result was the same.
A vampire.
A creature of ancient and unfathomable power. A body of dazzling complexity. A mind of base desires. And no soul of it's own.
Are we impressed with ourselves yet? We should be. After our birth into the night, our bodies become strong and quick and muteable as water. Flesh which is stone or flux or seductively soft, as our whim dictates. Physical needs which transmute into unquenchable desires which MUST be acted upon. The total melding of instinct and action. The pleasures which can only be found with a vampire's extreme senses, the caress of smoke against skin, of a metal edge nearing flesh...
But I digress.
The first years of your vampirism are a pretty boring topic, so let it suffice that if you are smart (yeah, right), cautious (oh, very likely), and talented at subterfuge (well?), you will survive your first century. If not, then you will feed your elders with the paltry snack of your blood and soul. And if you are really dense, then you'll suffer the immortal dishonor of being taken to your final death by a mortal's misguided attempt at bravery.
For all you vampire hunters out there whose hearts are racing from amazement at your own cleverness at having obtained this great and insightful writing on the nature of vampirism... look behind you.
Oops. Better luck next time. Well kids, since Morgan's stepped out for a snack, I guess I'll have to round this puppy off. Oh, this is Flynn. Geez, you guys don't know me, either, do you? Heh heh heh. This could be fun. Ok, here's what to do: I need each one of you to send me a little postcard with the one question you most need to ask. Now be sure to include the address of your secret haven, so I know where to send the answer. Got that? Good. Oh, hell, while you're at it, send in twenty dollars, too. Good luck!
Oh, that's helpful. This is an article about the special needs and qualities of the vampire mind and flesh, not some pitiful attempt at world domination. This is supposed to be EDUCATIONAL, Flynn. (I'm beginning to suspect that it was you who touched the book after all.)
Those of you who survive your first century will find yourselves confronted with a nasty mental awakening. If you have delayed and denied dealing with the fact that your are dead, yet immortal, now is the time when the truth will become apparent to even the most dense psyche. When all of your living friends and loved ones whither from the passing years, eyes that cannot see, hands that tremor and bruise at every touch, faces that you cannot recognize. All of your human companions will leave you. Your cherished memories of life will blur from disuse. And if you are not careful, you will be caught, transfixed by shadows.
Do not dwell on your past life, do not glory in regrets and self sacrifice. The role of the mordicant is not suited to creatures such as us, beings capable of such heights of passion and ecstasy. Layers of human guilt will become a tomb for those who do not accept the needs of their new bodies and minds. Self hate is at the root of this twisted desire for mortality which afflicts too many of us. Just remember that those who court mortality, often gain it.
This a trecherous path we walk... if you avoid self-loathing, take care not to make the opposite mistake. Do not try to recapture the essence of living flesh, do not cling to human loves and human hates, do not live as if you are human still. Your new mortal lovers will shrivel and die just like the others, leaving you more empty than before. Your human companions cannot live in your world and you will doom yourself if you stoop to living in theirs. Confining a wild beast to a cage of rules and shame and fears will turn you into less than you are. They cannot accept you, it is not in their nature to love death when it looks them in the face and goes "yum".
There are some who say that the human mind is not built for more than a century of experiences. That you must either erase the imprints of life from your mind or else go mad. I tend to agree, but then, I was human for such a short time it is hard for me to relate. All the advice I can offer you is to suggest that you come to terms with the fact that you are no longer human. Before it sets terms for you.

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